Why I stand up for traditional marriage

With everything going on this past week with the Supreme Court ruling that gay marriage should be allowed, I would like to share my beliefs. I know that Jesus Christ is our true Savior, that He has felt our pain and suffering, and walks with us in all our trials.

          “There is no physical pain, no spiritual wound, no anguish of soul or heartache, no infirmity or weakness you or I ever confront in mortality that the Savior did not experience first. In a moment of weakness we may cry out, ‘No one knows what it is like. No one understands.’ But the Son of God perfectly knows and understands, for He has felt and borne our individual burdens.”

Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

 

      I have several friends who are gay. I love them very much. Just because I do not believe in gay marriage does not mean I do not love these people. It does not mean I wish the any unhappiness, it just means I believe differently than they do. And this is why: The Lord has created a Plan of Happiness so that we may all return to live with our Father in Heaven again, and as eternal families. In order for this amazing plan of happiness to work, we must rely on the Savior and His atonement, and understand how critical the family is in that plan.

 

 

 

I am an advocate for fair housing, jobs, medical care, living conditions for those who believe differently than I do. But marriage is an institution established by God, and no one can change what the Lord has set as His Gospel and truth by making a new law. Our Prophet and the 12 Apostles issues this Proclamation to the World back in 1995. I believe it wholeheartedly, and know that the Lord's Plan of Salvation or Plan of Happiness is for our benefit and for us to return to live with Him again. Dear friends who are gay, I love you, I will always love you, and please know that I will always try and be a good friend to you and a support system for you, but that marriage is sacred and an eternal principle to me and a fundamental principle of the true Gospel of Jesus Christ that I will not change my mind about, because it is not what I think, it is what I believe.

 

 

The Family

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A Proclamation to the World

The First Presidency and Council of the Twelve Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.
All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.

In the premortal realm, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshipped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize their divine destiny as heirs of eternal life. The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.

The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.
We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God’s eternal plan.

Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.

We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.
We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.


I believe and stand behind each and every word in this Proclamation to the World. No one is perfect, but through repentance and utilizing the atonement to not only repent but walk through our trials and sorrows with the Savior we can have a happy and glorious life. As many of you know I cannot have children, and so my husband and I will adopt children, then go to the Temple and our child will be sealed to us for Time and All Eternity and we will live as a forever family with our Father in Heaven one day if we keep the commandments and continually repent and strive to be our best selves.

I believe these words are true. I believe Jesus is the Christ. I believe that we have a living Prophet on the Earth today who is the Lord's mouthpiece and gives us commandments and revelation to help us return to live with our Father in Heaven again. I believe in marriage between a husband and wife. I believe in the scriptures, the Bible, The Book of Mormon, the Doctrine and Covenants and Pearl of Great Price. I believe the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is the true Church of Christ. And I love all my friends, no matter their beliefs or religion. But I think it is important to know that I believe in the family designed by the Lord. I love you all. Love, Rachel

 

What is a Mormon? And Why?

Foster mom. Fighting chronic illness. Small business owner. Opera singer. Baker. Artist. Wife. Teacher. Rocker of the mini van. Seamstress. Huge children's party host. Horrible Gardner. Emergency Prep Expert. Awful bed head in the morning. Insomniac. Really bad at sports. Love to do rehabilitation with children with special needs. And I'm a Mormon.

This is my handsome husband Ken.

" Mormons" is a nickname given to people who belong to my faith. We belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  We are often called "Mormons" because we read The Book Of Mormon, which is another testament of Jesus Christ. It is a scriptural account of the people here on the American Continent, and adds to what the Bible teaches.

Yes, we believe in and read the Bible.

Our Church is the same Church the Savior established while on the earth. We have a living Prophet named Thomas S Monson, and 12 apostles. We hear from the prophet and apostles 2 times a year in a world wide broadcast. We also get to read talks and revelation from the Lord in a monthly magazine that is available online or in print called the Ensign.

Most importantly, we believe that Jesus is our Savior and Redeemer. Because of Him and through the atonement, we can return to live with our Father in Heaven again. This means we must repent for our sins, say sorry to those we have hurt, and try not to repeat the sin. We take the sacrament each week. This is bread and water that symbolizes the Savior and renews our covenants we made with the Lord at baptism. We believe children under 8 do not need to be baptized, children under 8 are not accountable for sin. When they turn 8, and choose to be baptized they are baptized the same way Jesus was by John the Baptist.

By being baptized, we covenant with the Lord to do our best, help those in need of help, comforting those in need of comfort, and trying our best to be like the Savior.

We also believe in temples, just as in ancient times. Many people get frustrated or angry that they cannot come inside and see someone they know get married in our temples. Our temples are sacred and special. We learn of the Savior, do baptisms for our dead ancestors by proxy, and get sealed. Being sealed means not just being married here on earth, but being bound together for all eternity in Heaven. When a new temple is built, we have open houses so that anyone can go in and see how beautiful the temples are, and where we learn and what the beautiful rooms look like. Once a temple is dedicated, only members who live worthy of the highest standards set in the scriptures can enter.

Here is a compilation of the basic things we believe in, called the 13 Articles of Faith.

We all serve in our Sunday worship and youth programs without getting paid. We are given callings, or jobs to do in our congregation. Mine is to teach songs about the Savior to the children. I love my calling. I get to hear the beautiful voices of the children bearing testimony of the Savior Jesus Christ, and I absolutely love it. I love being able to serve.

We pay 10% tithing just like in the Bible. This money is used to build church buildings, buy teaching supplies and materials, and to build temples. All around the world each Sunday, Mormons are taught the same lesson. So no matter where you go, you will lean the same truths.

 

We believe in being kind to all people. Not everyone is perfect, not everyone is always at their best. But we try. And we believe that the atonement of Jesus Christ allows us to do more than repent. We believe in personal prayer and receiving personal revelation through the Holy Ghost. We know from the Bible that the Savior took all of our sorrows, pains, trials and sins and suffered so that He could know how to succor us. We believe in developing a strong personal relationship with our Savior.

We believe in the power of prayer, miracles, and that God has not stopped talking to us. He speaks to us through our prophet and apostles. He speaks to us as we pray individually, and we can receive many blessings and miracles and we strive to keep the commandments and do what is right.

We believe that a young boy named Joseph Smith saw Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, and the Lord used him to restore the fullness of Christ's original church on the earth. Joseph Smith was a true and living prophet who brought about the restoration of the Gospel. We do not worship him or pray to him, we love him and are grateful for what he did.

We believe in the Plan of Happiness. We lived in Heaven before we came to earth, we came to earth to gain a body and be tested and tried. And when we die we will live with our families and our Father in Heaven once more because the Savior broke the bands of death. We are Christians. We love the Savior, and we love our Father in Heaven.

We do not have multiple wives. We do not do weird or secretive things in our temples. We do not worship idols or rocks or alters or shapes or signs. We do not pray to anyone other than our Father in Heaven.

I know that Jesus is the Christ. I know that He is our Savior and Redeemer. That he knows what we are going through, that we can turn to Him to have our burdens made light. I believe in the Bible. I believe in the Book of Mormon. I believe Joseph Smith was a true prophet of God. I believe that we have a true prophet of God who leads and guides us today. I believe that families can be together forever, and am so grateful to be sealed to my amazing husband Ken. I believe that the power of the Priesthood has been restored, and that this is the Savior's true church. I know that Heavenly Father hears our prayers and loves all of us, no matter what our religion.

If you want to know more, ask a Mormon you may know! or check out Mormon.org Also the movie
"Meet the Mormons" is now available on Netflix if you want to see what some other Mormons are like.

Date, Turtle and Singing Time

It's big news people, Ken and I finally went on a date! It's been like FOREVER! It was sooooo fun! We went to the movies and saw Pitch Perfect 2. We love fat Amy, she's hilarious. I like the first movie better, but this was still super fun!!!

 

I know, I felt like a weirdo tourist asking a stranger to take our photo at a movie theater, but yep I did it. Awesome.

 

 

Then we met my parents and my aunt and uncle who I haven't seen in ages for fish and chips and prime rib and a live band! I seriously felt like a newlywed again, it was so fun to get out on the town!

Look at that handsome man! We had so much fun going out to dinner without little kids clamoring for attention. It is really important to do fun things with our kids, but its super important to go out together and not talk about kids!

 

 

Also our good friends gave us Miss Penelope! She is our sulcata tortoise. She is a baby. They sell them so if you want a baby turtle I can get you in contact! Penelope is very tiny, likes her heat lamp, does not smell ( which I really like) and can book it outside like you wouldn't believe!!



See how tiny she is!? So cute!!

 

Here we are on our first night with Penelope at our house!

she also loves her lettuce

 

 

And totally unrelated, but fun! I made a sing or dare game for music time and it was so fun! I asked the children a question about the songs, and someone would pick a song, but in the song pile there were a few DARE cards! The dares were fun and reverent though, like standing on one foot for 20 seconds or singing the ABC's. Then if they picked a song, another child would come and pick out the actions we would do during that song. It was so fun! And the children are so fun and great at the songs, I love to hear them sing!!!

 

So it's been a super fun weekend!

 

And remember, go on dates and have a great time!! and turtles are wicked fun!



Women who have impacted my life: part 1

I have been thinking a lot lately about the women who have influenced, impacted and changed my life. So I am going to do a series on these women. Because of the positive influences in my life, I made great choices, the best of which was getting sealed in the Temple for Time and all Eternity to the love of my life. And there are women who help teach, guide and influence me to try and be me best self today. Not all stories are from the past, and I can't wait to discover the future ones!

 The stories I will tell about each of them is special and dear to me, and hopefully you will see how much the things you do and say affect others! I know some lessons I learned I was probably taught multiple times or by several different people, but I understood those lessons when these women taught me. Please enjoy reading about the women who have helped shape me, and who I love and am grateful to!
           
My Grandma Bessie Hatch: She is in Heaven now, and I know she watches over me. She is my hero, and saved me. When I was born she already had dementia, and my parents told me it makes it hard for people to remember what day or year it is, and that is was very difficult for her. I can only imagine. But she never forgot me. She noticed I was often left out from the cousins ( I'm the youngest) and in all I have over 60 first cousins, so she would send me fancy dresses with frills and lace, and once a sock puppet doll with a green checkered dress that I still have! And remember that dementia? Well when the family got together and when it came to me, she didn't forget me. She saved me. One day when I was around 5, a much older boy cousin brought me into a room to play doctor. Do you see where this is going?

                     Well my grandma may have had dementia but she watched out for me and was so in tune with the Spirit. Before he could hurt me she burst into the room, pulled me away from his reach, gave me my shirt and shielded me as she yelled and handled him. I don't know what happened to that cousin and that situation, but I was never left near him ever again. She saved me, I had no idea what was coming, and though I have experienced abuse other times earlier and later in life, I was saved that day. No one else came looking for me or to check on me, but she did. She always did. I love her very much and cannot wait to throw my arms around her when she greets me in Heaven one day and thank her. She is my hero.

Another hero in a different sense: Sister Bibber. She taught me compassion, selflessness, and the importance of visiting teaching. In our church each month the women go visit other women they are assigned to. They teach a message about the Savior, become better friends with each woman and are there should that woman, or Sister as we call each other, need any help. It was my senior year, I woke up at 4:45 every morning, went to early morning church class, school, college class, then to my nanny job, then home. I helped around the house when I could with cooking and things, but was much too busy. My mom worked as an X ray tech and loved it. Then she got sick. Like in the hospital, surgery, no real answers scary kind of sick. She was sick for 6 months. And here comes my hero, Sister Bibber.

          She brought us food at least once a week and came to visit my mom once a week. I don't think she ever missed a week the entire 6 months. And in Maine, people live far from one another so she sacrificed so much for our family by giving us her time, her love, her support, and meals. She also organized the other women in our branch (congregation) and we had at least 3 meals a week brought in. For 6 months. I learned from Sister Bibber the importance of service, of doing whatever it takes to meet the needs of the women you are blessed to serve. I believe in visiting teaching, I try to be just like her and know how to best love and serve the women I now visit teach since I'm all grown up! When I tell others this story I always cry. The qualities of a choice and amazing woman were shown and taught to me. I watched and learned that I wanted to be like her. That she was a hero. I love her and am so grateful to have been able to be on the receiving end of such kind, generous service and compassion. It changed my life.

Thank you to these women for teaching me, saving me, and loving me. I am so so grateful to you.

These are just some of the women who have changed my life. Keep checking back because there are many more stories of gratitude to be told.

10 Things I wish people had told me when I became a Foster Mom

Please note: we are not mad, offended, angry or resentful of anyone who has done #1-7 on this list, I just had to learn the hard way and I think it's important for people to know. :)

1. People who were your friends get mad: mad that you have children who have naptimes and bed times, and on game night need to be fed and changed and comforted mid game. Mad that you have to cancel, mad that you can't spend all your time over at their house listening to their problems.

2. People don't consider you a real parent: because I have no biological children, Mother's day was interesting. Some people were very supportive and kind, others made it seem like fostering made me less of a person and that I had no right to call myself a mom.

3. People judge: People who are supposed to be your support system judge your foster children. They judge the case they don't understand, they judge the color of your foster children's skin, they judge your choices to do what you do. And these judgments are not fair or kind.


4. You will see selfishness and selflessness in people you never imagined: People down on their knees, deep in trials give more than you could imagine and forgive in amazing ways. The hearts of these children are incredible. The selfish come from the adults who don't believe in giving people second chances and believe they know more about parenting children with difficult lives than we do. Hello people, we've been trained and trained and trained, we have been recertified and taught how to deal with rehabilitating our children, because that is our job. Get over yourself.

5. Foster moms can be the nicest or the most cruel: I've read so many facebook posts and blogs from foster moms and been so proud to be one of them, and at other times, so angry at how some behave or treat their children. I also have met some of the most amazing and giving women and families. Especially A.M.C. who volunteered to watch our children for free for an emergency surgery so Ken could be there when I woke up.


6. Everyone asks you if you are going to adopt the children you have: They don't care what the case plan is, they don't think the biological parents deserve a chance, they think you deserve these children, and a lot of people are very vocal about it, IN FRONT Of MY FOSTER CHILDREN! Not cool.

7. You will get bullied: Either by someone working for the state, other foster families, neighbors, people at church, people involved in the case, at some point with each case you will get bullied. It may be because you make someone else look bad by doing what you are trained to do, or it may be because you have a nice blouse on, who knows the reasons, but you will get bullied.

8. You will see miracles that others could only dream of: The miracles we have had have been amazing. Prayers are constantly answered, we are watched over by angels, and having these children in our lives is a huge blessing We have grown closer to the Lord and to one another because of numbers 1-7, and now on number 8 you see it's all worth it. The blessings that have come, the lessons we have learned have been life changing. And humbling. Now I look at others in a whole new light, and I look for miracles every day.

9. Your marriage will become a rock or will crumble: As newlyweds we wanted children. It was hard, but we both parent in the same style, and we both rely on inspiration from the Lord. Because we continually turn to the Lord and to one another ours has become a rock. We have to work at it like any other marriage, but we've been given miracles and blessings to become strong and solid.

10. Your view of the world will change: You will see miracles where others won't look, you will be uplifted by the Lord in times of difficulty and really appreciate it. You will find out who great friends, good friends and bad friends are. Your support system will be completely redefined. You will look at those less fortunate than you with respect, and you will fight hard for children who aren't even yours. And then one day, when you know you will have a child of your own, you will treasure and cherish it, and really thank the Lord for what you have seen and lived through.

Mommy Pretty, I love you. Here mommy flower.

Our big news: adoption

Disclaimer: all the thoughts, opinions and observations in this blog are strictly my own and do not reflect any agency or government entity. They are purely the feelings in my heart.

I took a few deep breaths. Tears brimming over my eyes, ad made my way around the corner to the kitchen where my incredible husband was trying to complete a mountain of homework. I felt awful interrupting him because then he would need to stay up later to finish, but this was to important to wait.

He looked up and smiled, saw my tears and moved his computer aside.
                " Sit down my love, what's wrong?"
     "Well, I don't know how to say this, and I don't know what you will think because it is completely opposite of what we decided, and it's going to mean a huge sacrifice on our part, and I'm really struggling with it."

My sweet husband held my hand and waited for me to speak. He had a look in his eye that told me he already knew what I was going to say and that he was proud of me for listening to the promptings of the Lord and trying to come to terms with this decision. He held my hand tight and just waited.

The my tears poured out, my heart ached as I spoke the words that needed to be said but hurt so much to acknowledge. Even now as I write this my eyes are watering and I remember the strong feelings of love, sadness, and comfort at doing the right thing.

       I sobbed as I said, " I know we decided that we would do a planned transfer of the children by June if they were still with us so that we could adopt a child. We have to have an open bed to adopt, and all of our beds are full. But Ken, (and here's where I really started sobbing, it was a true miracle he understood what I was saying) I just can't give them away to be split up into multiple foster homes, separated from one another just so I can have the baby I've always wanted. I feel so selfish having such a hard time keeping these children that won't be our to adopt, but I just can't send them away. I'm so torn and so sad. I'm sad for them, and I'm sad for us. And I feel so selfish wanting my own child to keep. Is that bad? Why am I struggling so hard? Are you ok if we continue to foster them and put our own family on hold until they go to their forever family?"

And my husband gave the best response in the world. " I'm so glad you understand. I'm so proud of you for seeing what needs to be done, and putting the needs of these children above our own desires, even thought waning our own child is a righteous desire. I have felt this way about the situation but wanted you to find your way here too. I know how hard it has been for you to wait for the children that will be forever ours. But this is the right decision. We both know that. We can't put these children back into homes where they will be separated. We don't know how long we will have them, but we do need to keep them until they go to their home. I'm so proud of you, it's not selfish, and I know how hard this is."

Then I just cried and cried. He was right, his answer was perfect. We both know that these children need to stay with us until they go home, and that we need to put our adoption on hold. I cried some more, feeling my heart breaking for our sweet foster children and the stress they are under, and knowing we have to wait even longer for our forever family. But we both have comfort knowing we are doing what the Lord would have us do, so despite the pain, we know it will be ok.

Many people don't understand what goes on behind the scenes of foster care. You love the children as your own, and you need to give them back. In Arizona the biggest priority is reunification with family, which we wholeheartedly support. Some foster parents try to sabotage the biological parents because they think they bio parents aren't good enough. That is not right, it is not what the Savior taught, and we make every effort possible to support reunification.

Fostering has shown me the extremes in compassion and selfishness in others. And in places I would never expect to see. I have seen extreme compassion and love in biological parents who just need a helping hand. Who are ready to change their lives and serve others around them. And I have seen great selfishness in people who consider themselves to have their lives in order and think it's ok to be judge and jury on things they don't understand.

What you can do is support Ken and I in our decision to wait for the precious children we are in charge of to be safely home. And support us in our efforts to adopt children with special needs and disabilities. We have prayed and fasted and know this is what the Lord wants us to do. Yes we have to wait for our adoption, but we know in the Lord's timing it will be worth it.

Fostering is so difficult to understand when you aren't living it. Hopefully the example above of one glimpse of a decision that will affect the rest of our lives will show you how complex fostering is. PLEASE ask me questions, please be supportive and kind. And know that I will continue to be an advocate for reunification, for adoption, and for mothers who can have their own children. Find ways to help support and serve your community or foster and adoptive parents. There are so many opportunities out there, you just have to look!

We are so grateful for the guidance of the Lord. We are so grateful to be able to pray and fast about difficult decisions and have people in our lives do their very best to support us. We are grateful for the trials and big decisions that leave our hearts slightly broken from the sadness of the sacrifice because it gives us a chance to allow the Savior to heal the wounds and for us to grow closer to him.

Our adoption process has been put on hold at least until the fall. We will keep you posted as things progress. Please pray for the children in our care that they may feel loved and supported by all those around them. Love to you all.

Where did the time go?!

Hello lovely readers!

I'm so sorry I haven't written in so log, I don't know how time got away from me. So many things have happened since I last posted. I have had some big, hard, important, fun, and not so fun things happen in the last month, but hey, who hasn't?

The best thing that has happened to me this year was getting back in touch with my dear friend Amber from BYU school of music. I have missed her and thought about her and prayed for her for years! She isn't on facebook, and then last October I saw her singing in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir during General Conference! I was sooooo thrilled!!! It took almost 6 months to get her info but I got it thanks to my friend Emily who also is in the choir!

Amber is amazing! She is so special and smart and just an amazing support system and I LOVE being such good friends with her, it feels like we picked up where we left off with no time in between. Having her back in my life is a HUGE blessing. She is so funny and inspiring and so supportive of my decision to be a stay at home mom and not a big singer. It's wonderful to have a friend who understands you and who you understand!! We had the best time in the Spring Opera at BYU where we shared roles and we got to be a fancy lady or a sailor boy, depending on the night. It was awesome!!!

Isn't she beautiful!?!?

This was my favorite scene, we got to be the cabin boy who made fun of the lovesick sailor. awesome!

 

Amber is so encouraging and so talented! I love seeing her sing during conference!! It's so fun! I can't stress the importance of having wonderful friends who are really there for you and you are there for them, it's wonderful! Now I just have to convince her to move to Arizona...

 

As for the other craziness of the month, I'll do a different post of that. but this one is to show some of the great memories and an amazing friendship to come out of my time at BYU. Amber I love you! Way to be so inspiring!!!