Monday, August 11, 2014

11 years along.....

Did you know that elephants are pregnant for 2 years just to have a cute baby elephant? crazy! Well, as a follow up to my last post we have a miracle to announce. And it's not the kind you are expecting, or one you may think is  a miracle, but I promise it most definitely is.

So we have been praying for guidance on what to do next. After being treated by this awesome holistic healer with vitamins, minerals and supplements my body needed I was starting to feel AMAZING!! His name is Dr. Cone and he is in Texas and thanks to our fabulous friends S. and W. we got his help. Things were going great, I was feeling awesome, energetic, very low pain, helping my thyroid clear out junk its been holding in my lymph system for years, just getting me back to overall healthy again.

But I wasn't losing any weight. I was eating well, and not a ton and limiting sugar and running all around with the family and doing actual awesome mom and family stuff. And my tummy started getting bigger.

And I started having really bad endometriosis pain, except it was getting worse, and some scary breakthrough bleeding (sorry if TMI), but we tried some more herbal things to balance my hormones and things leveled out, but I still didn't lose weight, and the pain didn't stop. Then it started getting aggressively more and more painful and really scary! We didn't know what to do. Nothing was working or helping.

We went to the Dr. I was presenting all the signs and symptoms of ovarian and uterine cancer. But they are very hard to diagnose. It was scary, but the pain and weird bleeding wouldn't go away, so we had to take action and fast. My insurance expires at the beginning of October when I turn 26 and can't be on my moms any longer. We needed to know what was wrong, and fast so we could treat it fast.

I have been very resistant to think and talk about a hysterectomy because I'm young and it can cause high risks for complications when I'm an awesome old lady warbling in the nursing home choir, and that would make the reality of not ever being able to have a child that much more real. And that is a scary thing to face. So I didn't want to.

But then I got big, and the pain kept on coming. After a few complications and miracles I got a CT with barium and IV contrast only a few days after seeing the Dr. This was a miracle and two amazing women worked very hard to push the paper work through and I had another miracle by getting a priesthood blessing from my husband and NOT throwing up the barium contrast.

I've had ultrasounds and Cat Scans before, but not with this other barium. We prayed so hard that they would find something. Our amazing friend A. watched the little A while the other 2 A's were in preschool on Friday and Ken took me to the temple. We both felt so calm and at peace, and I knew what had to happen and I was ready to face whatever it was Heavenly Father decided.

And we got a miracle. They found something. And here I am- 11 years along with:

                               Endometriosis( which we already knew) and Varicose Veins

It's called pelvic venous congestion syndrome, meaning I grow varicose veins in my abdominal cavity around my uterus and bladder and other weird places. Here is a diagram that helps:
                                                          The one on the right ^ is what I have

And I have to get a Hysterectomy
But to us, this is a huge miracle. They found something that explains the crazy swelling as you can see above, and it isn't cancer, and it's FIXABLE. I had accepted the fact that I may never be pain free around my pelvic region( it hurts down in the bones too, but this also explains that) and we got this miraculous news that these veins can be stopped. And the pain will diminish and perhaps disappear entirely.
What a MIRACLE!!!!!
Yes I'm sad to have a hysterectomy but Ken and I feel so good about it. The Doctors finally found something. And the vein issue and the endometriosis go hand in hand and escalate one another but they are easily missed during exams because when you lay flat for an exam, the veins flatten. Although at this point mine are swelling quite intensely and need to be taken care of as soon as possible. I'm on the list for the next opening, but if none come then I have my surgery consult in 2 friday's and I just happened to run into my OB at the hospital as I got my results and I should have surgery within 2 weeks of seeing him. We are praying that it will happen by the end of the month but we are soooooo thrilled it's happening.
Thank you everyone for your continued support and prayers. I've been fighting this battle for over 11 years and I'm coming out of it conqueror. Not the way in which I'd hoped- normal sized body with my own baby and body kicked back into the right gear, but I've made it. And I'm proud of my battle scars and for trying to beat this. And now I am, just not like other people do. And that's ok.
I've realized that so often we pray for good and wonderful things, and no matter how hard we try, we may not get them. But we get other miracles and blessings that we never would have dreamed of. And yes I am 25 and going to have a hysterectomy. But why keep an organ that is not only not serving it's function, it's causing my body serious stress and harm. I'm sure I will continue to swell, so I will take a photo right before surgery and then a week after and we can all see the miracle and blessing together!
And the hope and excitement I have that I can be pain free is a miracle. Heavenly Father has heard our prayers and answered the in a way that only really makes sense to Him, but I know He is taking care of me and our little family. And we will adopt. And we can't wait! And the recovery time for this bad boy surgery is like 2 days since they use a robot now. It's so cool.
So yes, I am 11 years along, but growing the wrong kind of thing. I'm not an elephant, I've been waiting far more than 2 years for a miracle. I was hoping it would be the miracle of life, and it is. Just not the way I imagined it.
What a miracle to have my body fixed to allow me to live my life to the fullest. I know the Lord hears our prayers, and He always answers them, even if it's not how we wanted or expected. I know we have angels all around us, watching over us and helping us. I know that through the Atonement of our Savior Jesus Christ we are not alone. He holds our hands and pulls us through these trials, knows how to comfort and guide us, and we come out into the sunshine on the other side stronger for the storm we had to push through. Don't give up. We have had so many amazing miracles. You can too.