Thursday, May 30, 2013

So Grateful

Today I had the amazing opportunity to sing at a wonderful woman's funeral. I was able to stay with her for two weeks last year when I first met Ken and moved into the singles ward. Her name is Joyce Lee. She was so sweet and fun! She was so nice and always complimented me on my outfits and asked how my different dates were. When I would come home from one and tell her how it went she gave me the best advice and told me to give that guy another try or definitely stay away from that one. She also loved grilled cheese sandwiches. Her funeral was so beautiful, and I loved singing in her memory. Her grandson Adam played for me and we did How Great Thou Art. It was so beautiful.

While I was there I kept thinking  about what an amazing husband and family I have. I am so grateful that we have the plan of happiness and know where we come from, why we are here, and where we are going. I just had this overwhelming feeling of gratitude. I am so grateful for my wonderful husband. He really is the best kind of man. And I don't know why Heavenly Father blessed me with him but I am so grateful that He did. He is so supportive and loving and brave and strong and we are so happy together. Did you ever imagine life could be this wonderful? Well let me tell you, it can!!

And I am so grateful that our family can be together forever! Ken and I get to be sealed for time and allllll eternity in 6 months! ahhh I am soooooo excited!!! And we are so lucky to have such wonderful families with all their craziness and commotion. They are so supportive and encouraging and we are so lucky to have the Gospel of Jesus Christ in our lives and that we have the plan of happiness. I am so grateful to know that our Heavenly Father loves us and has sent us here to get a body and learn and grow, and then sent a Savior to provide an atonement so that we can live with our Father in Heaven and families again after this life.

We are so blessed and I am so grateful to have such a wonderful life. I know things are really hard sometimes with trials and our bodies not cooperating and worrying about the future but it's so nice to know that there is a bigger picture and that the Lord knows each and every one of us. I went to a huge concert the other night and I loved knowing that with all those thousands of people the Lord knows each of us individually, that he hears our prayers, and that He gives us all the blessings He can.

We are so blessed to know such amazing truths and to have each other. I love my amazing husband and am so happy that we are at the beginning of a super long and awesome eternal road together. I know that may sound long, but it sounds perfect to me.

Friday, May 24, 2013

Yummy foods lately

I've made some yummy things lately! Cream cheese sugar cookies, caramel apples, homemade chocolates, chocolate covered strawberries, and my own recipe of caramel for chocolate caramels but it turned into toffee so I'm going to make toffee cupcakes tomorrow! I also made homemade red sauce, meatballs, and sweet potato stuffed shells with Alfredo sauce! Message me if you would like any recipes!
meatballs and sauce


lemon and orange chocolate creams

sweet potato stuffed shells

Dog Bite

Isn't his little tounge so cute!!!
So I've been on an animals resuce kick, and rescued 2 animals in one day. The First was a baby kitten, he was running across the street with 6 lanes of traffic!!!! So I pulled over, and so did a policeman. The kitty ran up into my wheel well and up into the engine, so I popped the hood and there he was! He had a blistered paw that had burst, probably from the hot tar. His eyes were goopy and his nose runny. So I took him to the vet and they said to take him to the animal shelter where he would get free care. It was so sad to see him go but he will get adopted really fast and get all better!
 I named him George Washington for his bravery crossing the dangerous road!

So then I went to my friend Danyelle's house and there was this super puffy looking dog walking around. I almost kept driving then I decided to turn around and investigate. He was so matted and dirty that he looked like a mangled mop. I decided to take him home! well not to my home but to danyelle's because she knows what to do with this sort of thing. So I brought him to her and we tried to cut out the mats. I accidentally cut his skin but all he did was make a tiny noise then let us keep going. It was as if he was used to grooming. And he was so sweet and so well behaved that I thought for sure we could keep him. But then we couldn't get anywhere with his fur and no grooming place would take him and it would cost like $100 just to get him groomed let alone his shots and stuff. So Danyelle said we could leave him in the backyard. I had to take my mom to the Dr the next day so Ken went to get the doggie and take him to the shelter. Well he did great with ken but then as he went to grab the dog, the dog bit him! Can you believe it? This same dog that let me groom him, or at least try to, and pick him up and put him in the car and get him out of the car. But one hand on him to get him in the cage from Ken, and that was it.

So here are some pictures of ken. One is his left hand, and the other is his right. We took him to urgent care and his hand was so huge!! It's doing better now, and I'm not allowed to rescue any more animals. Dannyelle is amazing and I'm so grateful she helped me even though I was being a bit silly.


It seems like almost EVERYONE struggles with some kind of fertility issues when they decide it's the right time to have a baby. So here's our story. I've had endometriosis for 10 years. Mine is a severe painful case, and the several OB's I've seen have said to just hang in there, when you are ready to have a baby we will make it happen.

 I had surgery a few years ago to laser all of the endometrial implants out, they are basically blood blister tumors that grow where they shouldn't. Mine grow around my uterus and I have been very blessed that although they cause extreme pain they have not grown on my ovaries. Last week I had an HSG test done, where they inject you with dye and look at your uterus and tubes. It is a totally miracle that mine look wonderful and are completely scar tissue free.

My OB is being extremely aggressive in figuring out why I haven't been able to gt pregnant, and why the pain is so severe, and how to avoid having a hysterectomy because everything is so bad in there. She has been amazing. We did all the other tests you can think of, and I have one more next week. Everything is looking good, except for the obvious endometriosis issue.

We decided to do the Lupron shot back in October which is supposed to kill off all the endometrial implants and give me a clean slate and the best chance to get pregnant. My endometriosis is now growing back with a vengeance no one expected, so my Doctor is rushing to get a baby in there and stop the growth.

Endometriosis grows out of control when you have your monthly period. The rate of growth is not parallel to the level of pain, so although my pain has increased, ( which I didn't think possible, apparently there is a level 15 on the pain scale of 10) but we don't know how many tumors are present. It is a huge blessing there is no scar tissue on the fallopian tubes and despite the tumors, as long as those are clear I have a better shot of conceiving.

The Lupron shot did some very interesting things. I got to experience menopause 20 or so years early, and it made walking very difficult on some days. We couldn't figure out why, and I spent thousands on acupuncture and tests and doctors visits to figure out why walking was painful. We discovered that I have fibromyalgia, which is an autoimmune disease. I take an awesome medicine that signals the nerves in my spine to calm down and now my pain is basically non existent. My endometriosis pain is still present but I can take ibuprofen and be ok with a heating pad lunch break. We have been very blessed finding the major source for my pain to be the fibromyalgia and with the new medicine I'm a new person!

But having a baby is still not happening. So we will do more tests and figure out what other medicines to try to move it along. Since my tubes are clear now we have a small window for success before the endometriosis grows out of control. So it may be a while and another surgery or two before we have a baby but my pain is under control, I have an amazing husband, and I'm trying to stay positive in other ways.

I started reading a book about understanding fertility and it was very frightening telling me all the ways endometriosis inhibits getting pregnant or how I'm likely to lose the baby if I miraculously conceive. But I know we are supposed to be parents and if I listen to the statistics and what could go wrong I will be discouraged and stressed and that doesn't help anything.

For now I'm furthering my candy and baked goods skills and inventing my own recipes. I am looking for great deals on baby things for when the time comes that we get our own! And I love holding my friends babies and helping them with struggles they may be going through. It's good to stay busy and to know that we are doing as much as we can in partnership with the Doctor and specialist and hopefully soon we can have a baby and keep it safe inside me!

I've really enjoyed recognizing the many blessings the Lord has given me. It's been so fun to set goals and learn new things. I've even written a primary song! and it's been so wonderful to continue to enjoy being married and having a fabulous husband. We have been so blessed and this is a trial that we will get through and we are staying positive and enjoying life despite the long wait for a baby. I've learned to not give up or be sad, there is so much to enjoy in life. And some day we will be parents, we might have to adopt but that would still be wonderful!

If you or someone you know struggles with fertility issues don't give up or get discouraged. Having the best doctors and specialists helps give you peace of mind, and staying busy and doing things that are fun and that you look forward to give you joy and hope in your life.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Park City Honeymoon

We went to Park City last week for our honeymoon! It was so so SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO fun!!!! Our resort had 6 hot tubs! and our apartment had a fire that you just flip the switch to turn it on! I thought that was brilliant and would have loved to have one of those in Maine!! it was amazing!

We went to the thrift shops/DI's and got lots of books! and we went to Tocano's, an all you can eat sushi place, and this other little place where we got the most amazing stuffed pasta! ( It had sweet potatoes and cheese inside covered in white sauce. AMAZING!!!)

Ken and Fallon, and Fallon in a nest

Baby Zurrie! Such a cute elephant!!

So full after all you can eat Sushi!!!                                      

 We went to the temple twice. First we did sealings, then we did a session!!!


 BYU steps! These used to plague me so much! But look how beautiful they are!!!
 More BYU landscape
 At the honors library in the Maeser building
Me pretending to be a Tucan at Tucano's

More Temple Pictures! From our first visit there

At a fancy pizza place, the pizza was kind of gross though...

At the zoo! Brittany, me, Ken and Fallon

Ryan and baby Daxton!

In downtown park city, I was trying to be a bhuda statue, like the one behind me, but I peeked!

Awesome ski man at some shop

Awesome crazy alien dude in a tank, pretty cool art

We had a great time and ate lots of new foods and got to see wonderful friends!!!! It was amazing to go to the temple and know that families can be together forever! I love the gospel and my wonderful husband. It was such a fabulous expereince!!