What is a real mom?

I am a foster mom. I hated mothers day this year because I had just had a miscarriage and I found out I could not have my own children. I was just a foster mom.

But I've asked myself, what is a real mom? I help take care of these children, I do habilitation to help them succeed in daily life and improve whatever their disability may be. I help make meals, do bath time, run errands for things they need, put them to bed, teach them right from wrong, sing to them, play, take them fun places....

And most of all, I love them.

That's what a real mom does. So I've decided to stop being hard on myself saying I'm not a real mom, JUST a foster mom.  I think fostering can be more difficult than being a mom to your own birth child. I'm not saying by any means that moms who have their own children don't have it hard, lets face it, all moms have it hard.

But for me, after I've done all these things to help grow and strengthen and love my foster children, they go back home to their real moms. And that is what is hard. But the entire goal of foster care is to help both the children and parents get to a better place in life, and then get to live as a family again.

So that's the more difficult part, letting them go. That's what makes being a foster mom hard. Ours aren't leaving our home anytime soon, but it's so hard to get so attached and know I can't keep them, and then I feel like I'm not a real mom.

BUT! that's not true, is it?! And I'm sure their are moms out there who feel like they aren't real moms because they aren't perfect at this or perfect at that, we all feel that way. Whether we are foster moms or are moms who have adopted or moms who have given birth! we are important, we matter.

I love this quote: She stretcheth out her hand to the poor, yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. Proverbs 31:20

All women matter. We aren't JUST one thing or another, we aren't defined by our jobs or our titles, but who we are and how we approach life. So yes, I am a foster mom. The Children I have grown to love will leave me one day. But we will adopt, and I am more than JUST one thing.

 Heavenly Father has placed each and every one of us here for a specific purpose and reason, but I know that he has put us here for many purposes and reasons. As women we fill all kinds of roles, we add gentleness and kindness to the world. We can do anything we set our minds to. With the Savior at our side, we are unstoppable.