Friday, August 28, 2015

The most difficult part of being a foster parent... when they leave

Due to the legal nature of fostering, we are not allowed to disclose some things we wish we could with friends or family to get the support we need. We aren't even allowed to talk to other foster parents about it, because each foster child has rights.

Which makes sense, if you were a foster child would you want someone talking all about you all over the internet and posting some frustrating things that happened that may embarrass you now, or even hurt you now as an adult and get in the way of your journey in life?  I know I would hate that. But I also understand the need for support and to share the discussion to share the weight of the burden.

I honestly don't know how single foster mom's do it. Can anyone say Super Hero?!

So, to the point. The worst part of fostering is when they leave. And today one of our children left. Went to a new, wonderful home that will  help that specific child grow and learn tools that are needed. And that's all I'm allowed to say.

I'm so thankful that the Lord has given me such an amazing and supportive husband, and that we can share the burdens and stresses and sadness together. Other people don't quite understand. It's not the same as a child dying, but it feels and though the child has died.

We may never see the child that we love and have put so much work into in a long time, if ever. So it does feel like death. It also feel, I would imagine, as a mother sending a son or daughter off on deployment for our Amazing Nation. You wonder will they be ok, will I hear for them, and you grieve and think of all the what if's.

Well I'm deciding to let go of all the what if's and put all my trust in the Lord. And perhaps the next child to come will come and be ready to adopt. The lord has a plan for us. No matter how hard or sad or scary, we need to trust him. And make His will our will.

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